...don't fix me, love me
For years I had doubts about my smile and that it was not beautiful, specifically, my teeth. Crowded in one area and straight in others.
I felt so much resentment and confusion because my teeth were 'messed up' and 'not right'. When I was losing the last of my baby teeth there was one tooth that longed to stick around. The tooth right to the left of my "big left tooth". It hung around for so long that the adult tooth already occupied space, just right behind it. I would mess around with it wanting it to go away but without success and when it finally did let go my smile was a constant reminder of that 'imperfect', unfavorable circumstance.
My mother always had a gorgeous smile that she flashed often when she laughed or took photos and my dad, in his youth, got braces. I wanted braces too and in the meantime I put pressure against the adult tooth with my tongue encouraging it to advance forward into it's 'proper position'.
It was the shy tooth.
And in a way it reflected a part of who I was.
Not shy but elusive, quiet, in the background of the other teeth.
Waiting in the shade for the perfect timing when the light shined on it just right.
It stood out without showing off.
Like the other teeth but perfectly unique, perfectly in place.
They all weren't designed to be in the forefront and that's ok.
The quiet ones in the back could be noticed too.
Instead of focusing my negative attention towards it because it didn't meet my preconceived expectations of what attractive teeth were to be, I ought to have embraced it and welcomed it as it was honoring that this is the way my God intended for things to be.
I couldn't force it to be something it was not.
...and neither could I with myself.
I met a woman in DC with a name as feisty as she was, Formiguinha (fire ant in Brazilian Portuguese). Tiny in stature with a big explosive personality and spicy energy. I LOVED her fire, passion, and enthusiasm and one day I noticed her teeth when she smiled at me up close. Her teeth were crowded, top and bottom and reminded me of the teeth of cookie cutter sharks- just not straight.
Formiguinha smiled so freely and warmly and I wondered "How is she so comfortable with her smile although her teeth aren't straight?" I had one tooth. She had many that were 'imperfect'.
She embracing her smile and boldly showing it off never once made me uncomfortable but encouraged me that it was okay to show genuine enthusiasm freely and that my smile is beautiful. Her confidence spilled over into that area of my life and although I never told her the impact she made in my life when she smiled at me, I was always sure to smile back.
I am grateful for that inward tooth because through it I learned I don't need to be something that I'm not or compare myself to a mold I was never made to fit into. I am making peace with it as I love myself deeper. It may not be 'perfect' to some but it's perfectly mine.
Beautifully,
MahYah
3rd Day
9.16.14
#TeachTuesday
flow with me....
stop thinking of what to share and share what you're thinking
For years I had doubts about my smile and that it was not beautiful, specifically, my teeth. Crowded in one area and straight in others.
I felt so much resentment and confusion because my teeth were 'messed up' and 'not right'. When I was losing the last of my baby teeth there was one tooth that longed to stick around. The tooth right to the left of my "big left tooth". It hung around for so long that the adult tooth already occupied space, just right behind it. I would mess around with it wanting it to go away but without success and when it finally did let go my smile was a constant reminder of that 'imperfect', unfavorable circumstance.
My mother always had a gorgeous smile that she flashed often when she laughed or took photos and my dad, in his youth, got braces. I wanted braces too and in the meantime I put pressure against the adult tooth with my tongue encouraging it to advance forward into it's 'proper position'.
It was the shy tooth.
And in a way it reflected a part of who I was.
Not shy but elusive, quiet, in the background of the other teeth.
Waiting in the shade for the perfect timing when the light shined on it just right.
It stood out without showing off.
Like the other teeth but perfectly unique, perfectly in place.
They all weren't designed to be in the forefront and that's ok.
The quiet ones in the back could be noticed too.
Instead of focusing my negative attention towards it because it didn't meet my preconceived expectations of what attractive teeth were to be, I ought to have embraced it and welcomed it as it was honoring that this is the way my God intended for things to be.
I couldn't force it to be something it was not.
...and neither could I with myself.
I met a woman in DC with a name as feisty as she was, Formiguinha (fire ant in Brazilian Portuguese). Tiny in stature with a big explosive personality and spicy energy. I LOVED her fire, passion, and enthusiasm and one day I noticed her teeth when she smiled at me up close. Her teeth were crowded, top and bottom and reminded me of the teeth of cookie cutter sharks- just not straight.
Formiguinha smiled so freely and warmly and I wondered "How is she so comfortable with her smile although her teeth aren't straight?" I had one tooth. She had many that were 'imperfect'.
She embracing her smile and boldly showing it off never once made me uncomfortable but encouraged me that it was okay to show genuine enthusiasm freely and that my smile is beautiful. Her confidence spilled over into that area of my life and although I never told her the impact she made in my life when she smiled at me, I was always sure to smile back.
I am grateful for that inward tooth because through it I learned I don't need to be something that I'm not or compare myself to a mold I was never made to fit into. I am making peace with it as I love myself deeper. It may not be 'perfect' to some but it's perfectly mine.
Beautifully,
MahYah
3rd Day
9.16.14
#TeachTuesday
flow with me....
stop thinking of what to share and share what you're thinking